Have a Seat
I got this link sent to me during work today and really, it's too precious to ignore.
Let me summarize for you. This guy calls the police one day, because he reeeeaaaallly needs to drop a deuce. Like BAD. Why call the police? Because his girlfriend won't come out of the bathroom....
for... drumroll.....
TWO YEARS. TWO WHOLE YEARS.
The skin of her legs had actually grown around the toilet seat. They had to pry the seat off and take it with her to the hospital.
There are so many things wrong with this I dont even know where to start.
First of all, why did nobody notice this woman was missing for TWO YEARS, even cat ladies and social rejects have somebody who would notice their dropping off the planet. And how is it possible that for that amount of time, not one person entered that house and needed to use the bathroom? For that matter, where the hell was the boyfriend excreting all that time? I'd be willing to bet that along with a big stash of crazy pills, the cops might also find a whoooooole lotta shit in the backyard. This is just more fun than assuming they have a second bathroom.
Another fun fact. This woman apparently didn’t WANT to come out of the bathroom. Her boyfriend brought her food and water while she sat, on the toilet, for TWO years.
And how the hell do you date someone on a toilet?
Why would you not call the authorities after the first WEEK of your psycho significant other refusing to move from le toilet? Not to mention the fact that eating and drinking for two years in a bathroom is disgusting, especially when the toilet obviously couldnt be cleaned since it was clearly obstructed by her ass. Germs people, germs obviously powerful enough to kill the brain cells that would tell any normal person BATHROOM DOES NOT = PERMENANT PLACE OF RESIDENCE.
Plus, it can't be comfortable, sitting on hard cold porcelain with a hole in the middle of it for 730 days. Nooooo thank you. If I ever choose to become a psychopath I would much rather attach myself to my bed or perhaps a nice comfy sofa.
You really have to wonder about this boyfriend. Does he have no sexual urges? Did they do it while she was on the toilet?
And what about entertainment? Did he provide her with an endless stream of reading materials? Did he not get kinda freaked out at the site of her skin making its way around the edges of the seat? Did he eventually just start sliding trays of food through a slot like in some weird prison movie because he couldnt deal with the nasty factor anymore? I mean, its not like she could shower from the toilet.
Do you think he ever considered selling tickets around the neighborhood for kids to come see the "Toilet Girl"? Did he try to maybe try sell her off to traveling circus's and freak shows before realizing it was more gross than fascinating and finally getting the cops to physically remove her from his restroom?
Really toilet girl and toilet girls boyfriend? REALLY?
What finally happened after two years of toilet sitting that made this guy go.....
OK THATS IT. YOU'RE SO OUT OF MY FUCKING BATHROOM!
.....
..........
………….
Maybe she didn't flush?
2 comments:
Disturbing. The boyfriend is a joke for not either forcibly removing her from the seat or calling someone to do it. Her legs atrophied as a result of sitting on the toilet for so long. Darwinism gone slightly wrong. Wonder if she lost brain cells as well.
I'm not as concerned with the two years aspect of it, because I think you know, its a fucking toilet, if you're on it for 2 weeks or two years its basically the same. I mean, at some point, I guess its kind of more efficient to just live on the damn thing, right?
What concerns me is that "1 hour after sitting to 1 day after sitting" phase. This is really the crucial piece of the 2 years stuck on a toilet story. I mean, we all have those times where it takes a bit longer than we might hope to do what we gotta do, no doubt about that. Personal record for me: probably about 35 minutes, maybe 40, I don't know, I wasn't really counting its more of a feel thing. Was I starting to get really concerned though after the 25 minute mark? You better believe I was. Had I hit an hour I probably would have freaked out and called my friends. Parents at 2 hours. Fire department at 4, probably national guard around 8. I mean, once I had finished what I was doing and gotten to the point where I was then HUNGRY AGAIN, wouldn't that be enough to get up?
Simply dumbfounding.
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