awkwardness by way of drug store

i have a unique fascination with awkwardness. while on the phone with my good friend thuwaiba thezine last night, i was reminiscing about some awkward situations i have encountered while in a drug store. i will share them here.

the 3am CVS cashier who judges you
alright so one night at around 3am, i was PMSing and needed some snacks. i'm actually PMSing right now and will write a future post about that. awesome right?? anyway, i went into CVS with specific items in mind: a pint of ben and jerry's, a large 4 dollar bag of chips, some sort of chocolate, cigarettes, and reading material. after gathering all of my consumables, i moseyed on over to the magazine rack. unfortunately for me, i had either read or owned all of the good magazines. the only ones i didn't have were "Self" or "Shape." so i grabbed "Shape" and headed over to the lady at the register. after plopping down all of my things, i then asked for a pack of parliament lights. she fetches my cancer sticks, then slowly registers (in her head) all of the things i am buying. what doesn't belong? hmmm. now correct me if i am wrong, but shouldn't cashiers who work at CVS at 3am keep their opinions to themselves? oh nooo, not this one. she says to me,

"ha ha ha, you're really buying all this junk food and cigarettes and then you're going to read 'Shape' magazine?"

and do you know what i said? nothing. i was in too much shock. i'm pretty sure it's illegal to say things like that. f you lady.

the post-gym candy aisle encounter
i work out quite a bit. just wanted to justify myself after the first example. anyway, one day on the elliptical, i noticed a pretty good looking guy. no offense if you are a guy who works at the WOW in randolph, but the good looking ones are pretty rare. i wasn't trying to pursue a romance with said man, but i thought "hmm. he's cute." after that gym session, i went to CVS (i really like CVS) and i went straight to the candy aisle. luckily for me, cute man also went right to CVS. he walks in, candy aisle in CLEAR vision upon entrance, and there's me. picking out candy. right after the gym. he made a face at me. and to that, i also say "f you!" what if i was getting sugar free candy?? hahaha yeah right.

douche is a real thing
several years ago when i was merely a first-week freshman at Tufts University, i was the eager little girl who wanted to be friends with everyone. that ended about a week later, but it was cute to try and get to know fellow classmates. it was particularly important to befriend hall mates, as these are the people you will see day in and day out. this one girl andrea* was nice enough. lived on the other end of the floor, but we still met somehow. later that week, i went to Brooks Pharmacy (didn't know where the CVS in porter square was then) in Davis Square to pick up a few items with some of my new girlfriends. i saw andrea at the end of an aisle, and being the perky nice girl that i was, i started walking towards her to say hi. however, something very strange happened. as i was approaching her from the other end of the aisle, a mortified look grew on her face, and she RAN AWAY. what??? i was already halfway down the aisle so i just kept walking, thinking to myself "what the hell??" i got to the end of the aisle, to the very spot where she was intently studying products and realized... she was looking at douches! up til then, i had always thought that "douchebag" was just a mean word. NOW I KNOW WHY THAT IS.

poor andrea

*this is her real name